Three Key Steps to Getting Your Partner Interested in Swinging

Swinging - when done the right way - can not only be great fun; it can also bring a couple much closer together in the intimacy of their relationship. This may seem counterintuitive but it is a clue on how to get your partner interested in swinging. It is also the reason why most people have little success in getting a partner interested who is reluctant to try it.

The first step is to realize that successful swinging is all about the two of YOU and your relationship. It is not to fill in any gaps in your sex life. In fact, swinging makes a great sex life even better; it does not make a bad sex life good. So if you are going to try to introduce your partner to swinging you should concentrate on improving the sex life between the two of you first.

This leads us to the second step, which is to really focus on your partner. Your goal here is to make them feel loved and adored, that they are the sexiest person in the world to you. You would never do anything to hurt them intentionally and they are certainly the best lover you could possibly ever imagine having. Some people find this difficult, especially if they have been in their relationship for some time. You may feel your attraction has waned for your partner. You might think your sex life has become boring, which is why you want to add some variety by swinging anyway. You need to turn this around. Try new things. Even do some of the things you used to do when you first got together. Anything becomes stale if no effort is put into it, and your sex life is just the same.

The third step is simply to keep reinforcing you attraction for your partner and building the trust between you. The more trust you can create by making your partner feel safe to be themselves and express themselves fully, the more they will know that your desire for more sexual adventure is not about 'replacing' them with someone else.

Many couples feel that getting involved with swinging will cause problems in their relationship such as jealousy. However, if you follow the above steps you will find that these problems just don't arise. However, it is very important to keep the relationship between you as the most important thing; you just happen to involve other people from time to time to experience things you can't do with just the two of you.

If you would like to become a swinger and your partner isn't interested you will find the above steps a powerful way to start.

If you want to be a swinger and your partner's not interested, visit http://www.swingwithyourwife.com/.

View the original article here

Sexless Marriages: What If Your Partner Does Not Want a Sexual Marriage?

Many couples are struggling with trying to figure out how in the world to bring the sex back into their relationships. Bringing sex back into a marriage is a great idea, if both partners agree they want it back. What if, however, one of the partners has no interest in bringing the sex back? Is there anything you can do in this situation?

If you're in a sexless marriage the first thing you need to do is decide if that's okay for you. Don't think about whether your partner wants a sexual marriage or even what your partner would say about the topic; just think about what you want. If your answer is yes, your next question to answer is: Is having a sexual marriage non-negotiable? Non-negotiable means that you want a sexual marriage and if you don't have one, the marriage will be in trouble.

Once you are clear that you want a sexual marriage, sit down with your partner and have an honest discussion. Inform your partner that you've given the sexual aspect of your marriage a lot of thought and that you know you no longer want a sexless marriage. Be clear that you're not willing to go the next 5, 10, 15 years with no sexual intimacy. Ask your partner to consider where they stand on this issue so you can decide what your next move is.

If your partner says they're willing to try, then come up with a plan. Start with both of you reading The Sex-Starved Marriage by Michele Weiner Davis. If your partner has lost their sexual desire, ask that they rule out any medical condition and meet with their doctor to discuss options. Finally, get professional help as a couple.

There are a number of things that impact the sexual intimacy between couples. It's in your best interest to figure out which issues pertain to your specific relationship. Some common issues that create problems for couples include:
‧ One partner being a selfish lover
‧ A high level of negativity form one partner
‧ Verbal or emotional abuse
‧ Issues of control
‧ Pressure for sex or an entitlement and expectation around sex
‧ Past affairs that have not been worked through
‧ Past history of sexual abuse for one partner

Regardless of what led to the sexless marriage, it's up to the partner who wants a sexual relationship to have an honest conversation about their feelings. Be respectful, calm and clear that you are not willing to settle for a sexless marriage. Do not state this as a threat, it's simply a piece of honest information that your partner will need in order to make their decision. If they say they do not want a sexual relationship, appreciate their honesty and tell them what that will mean for your relationships (i.e. separation, divorce, moving into different bedroom etc.).

Challenge: If you're in a sexless marriage and that is not okay for you, get clear about what you want and be honest with your partner.

Lisa Merlo-Booth is a relationship coach with over 15 years of experience in the field of therapy and coaching. She has worked with individuals, families and couples on a variety of life issues. http://www.relationalcoaching.com/.

She earned her Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology from Pepperdine University in 1991 and has received her coaching training from Coach University. Lisa is the Director of Training for the Relational Life Institute owned by the renowned author, Terrence Real.

Check out Lisa's blog on relationships at http://lmerlobooth.typepad.com/straight_talk_4_women/

View the original article here