2011/06/15

Are You Friends With Benefits? Rules for Women

The single most important thing a woman must know when she engages in a friends with benefits relationship is that it is very dangerous to convince yourself that a casual sex relationship is destined to turn into a romantic drama where the fantasy of Mr. Right Now is going to turn into a reality of Mr. Forever. This is why a woman must be in control and realistic about what she is looking for. Having said that, giving you the necessary cautions of a friends with benefits affair, then let's get onto the fun stuff!

There is nothing new about dating. Dating is about socializing with many different people in order to have some fun, develop who you want to be, and maybe find a lifetime companion. The beautiful benefit of dating today is that a physical relationship, that's sex, is no longer taboo.

A courting couch can now be thought of as an interesting place to try out the latest and greatest sexual positions rather than a barrier for your libido.

So ladies, Rule Number 1: When you embark on a friends with benefit arrangement, understand that secretly hoping to manipulate the situation into a commitment is against the rules. Not against the rules of online dating, but against the rules of maintaining your dignity and power.

Some people believe that casual sex is degrading for women. This is an absolute myth. You only become exploited or degraded if you allow it. Learn how to engage in sex as effectively as possible but always in the service of your own objectives.

Rule Number 2: Your objective in a friends with benefits relationship is to have someone to have sex with when you want to without the emotional involvement of a committed relationship. That's it. You want to go out, have fun, with a member of the opposite sex and every now and again get tangled in the sheets. No apologies, no promises.

You may be building your career, going to school, or just not interested in getting married or being in a committed relationship. It doesn't matter what draws you to a friends with benefits relationship. What does matter is that you enjoy the casual sex. You have to turn off your "gal pal" chatter or family objections if they tell you that you should be settling down.

That decision, that one where you decide that you are ready to look for Mr. Forever, is completely up to you. And, despite the ticking of any sort of internal clock, doesn't rely on the calendar. After all, there is always adoption!

Rule Number 3: If you desire a commitment at some point in the future, but just not from your friends with benefits guy, then own up to it. Be smart with casual dating and casual sex. Face it, we are in an age of sex before love. You can enjoy an uncommitted sexual relationship without feeling obliged to justify it with a commitment.

You will know when the right one comes along. And when that happens, you will have the power to handle it because you will be confident as a result of your successful casual relationship. You will know that it's different and behave differently than in a friends with benefits, casual sex, no strings attached dating affair. Don't be afraid to have fun. And don't be afraid to toss the ideal of a commitment to the wind until you are ready for it.

Lisa Devine and her partner are experts on sex and seduction. They met online through an adult dating site and only come up for air when they have something new to share. Other times the door is locked with the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the handle. If you would like to receive more free tips on sex and seduction then hop on over to RandyRabbits.com


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