Almost everyone admits that after 10 years of marriage, trying to stay passionate to each other is never easy. No one can always act adoring or keep up an air of mystery while sharing the same space with his or her spouse year after year. Here are the truths about sex for most married couples.
(1) Love can last but passion needs regular charging
Some people do not need to reach the 7-year itch, because lust fades away as fast as the firework display. Especially for guys after marriage, they refocus their attention on career at the expense of their love lives, feeling that they have already their objectives in their love lives. When people stop trying to impress their partners, passion definitely goes downhill.
(2) Being complacent is never sexy
Couples who can stay emotionally connected to each other share many great moments and fond memories. They also pay special attention to creating those magical ones because great sex requires magic. It is only after you exercise some creativity and make an effort to reignite romance that you can both have a strong marriage and a good sex life.
(3) Greater intimacy does not necessary lead to stronger passion
Intimacy means willing to share each other's thoughts and feelings. Every relationship needs intimacy to flourish. However when we get to the point of knowing each other too well, predictably sets in and this can hurt passion in the long run.
(4) Becoming parents do not lead to better sex
After marrying for many years, people tend to look upon their spouses as their kids' father or mother more than regarding them as lovers as what they did when they initially met. When this happens, passion in bed definitely ebbs. Also the time invests in caring and nurturing kids can at times makes the husband feels neglected.
(5) You may be the last person in the world to know what turns him on
Guys tend not to reveal everything about themselves because it can make them look weak. That is why what moves us sexually is usually one of our most closely guarded secrets. Though greater intimacy does not necessary lead to greater sex but without intimacy, passionate lovemaking is impossible.
How to maintain the passion in marriage sex
(1) Do not assume you know everything about what pleases your spouse sexually
It is common for a husband and wife to be together for many years without each knowing what can please their spouse in bed. This can be due to out of embarrassment or being afraid to be seen as weird or selfish, in talking about it.
(2) Sharing each other's fantasies in an emotionally safe way
You can encourage your husband to slowly reveal aspects of his sexuality. You can say something like, "I have some craziest erotic ideas. Why not tell me something that you think will surprise me about how we can spice up our sex lives? I will promise to tell you something in return that will surprise you as well." Saying it in this way means you are willing to listen to something unexpected and can encourage your husband to be open. If saying out loud is still too embarrassing, encourage him to put his thoughts in words.
(3) Make sex more fun
You both can take turns to act out one of more of each other's sexual fantasies. Being playful can energize the feelings of each other.
(4) Offering examples
Encourage him to be more open about his real fantasies by saying something like, "What really excites you - being tied up and blindfolded, pretending I am someone else, you name it."
(5) Doing something different
Dress to impress each other. A different style of clothing or different hairstyle can trigger new feelings of each other.
Try to keep passion high after many years of marriage are hard but not impossible. All it needs are communication, creativity and a commitment of time and energy. If you want to get more ideas to keep the lust last in your relationship, you can click on to Passionate Lovemaking and Marriage Sex.